So, women shouldn’t be chairing anything you say? Men do a better job, you say?

Let’s start with the Minister of Public Relations, he’s assaulted members of the media, tied health workers to trees, has a son who assaults members of the military. He can’t be fired because he taunts former governments with “don’t make me tell them where all the bodies are buried.” Good choice there, I’m comforted knowing that the most senior public servant in charge of maintaining good relationships with the public at large is a thug and felon.

Now on to the Minister of Water Resources and Irrigation. Another chauvinist who a few days ago made a massive statement that went largely unreported. Apparently “women do not vote for other women” and that women in the estate sector had “taken up drinking”. I do think he has a few problems to fix like massive underinvestment in agricultural infrastructure and the water resources he’ll need to replant all those hilly tea estates if Sri Lanka has a chance to survive in the modern economy. A few women having a couple of drinks after a hard day’s work is the least of his worries. Also, is not above boning his secretary in his office and having his wife find out, then letting his secretary take the fall. You bet she had a couple of drinks that night.

Ah the minister of “Health”. You know you’re passing down some healthy dna when the precious fruit of your loins sees fit to drunkenly assault a young couple after being asked to please stop taking lewd photos with the young woman in the background. Then, attempting to orchestrate a police cover-up and obstruct justice for a felony assault that landed the young man in hospital. I feel better already that such a fine, upstanding public servant is in charge of the nation’s public health policy.

And what of the Minister of Investment Promotion. A man who makes statements like “the President cannot be defeated, even in five more elections.” So, come what may in terms of democracy, in addition to debt that my grandchildren’s grandchildren will need to be paying off, we’ll be stuck with a hairdo of a legacy that gets fat, rich and pompous while routinely looking for opportunities to arbitarily and at a whim “acquire non-performing assets” and then shortly thereafter make the public at large pay for these through a complex system of taxes and head-splitting public utility bills. That’s some fine investment promotion you’re doing there, Sonny Jim.

I could go on and on. But being a woman, I need to go find some socks to darn, or jealousy to harbour. The female politicians could be (and most probably are) as corrupt and incompetent as their male counterparts, but I take particular umbrage when they are accused of being even more so.

If we suck, you suck just as much, not less dude!

Joy Cometh in the Morning

May has brought death.  Death that is sudden and desperate, that oscillates in your heart.  Death that came like an unhurried prayer.   Death that has unfolded dramatically, a quick, scrawled note — and a silence that punctuates the air.

Perhaps it’s the turn of the weather or the birth of a new moon, people slip away softly into the earth, never to return.

Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning.

 

The Toothless Resolution and How it Bites Back

Look Elsewhere.

It’s not a huge surprise that the UNHRC adopted the draft resolution tabled by United States, it was so utterly weak and pointless, that even India, an ally with whom we have recently rekindled diplomatic and economic relations chose to take this one on—there’s an adage somewhere about picking the battles you think are worth fighting.  But there are ways that it could have been rendered less useless, less scolding, less diplomatically damaging and humiliating.  The US could have proposed that this document be a positive step towards engaging a regime that is so far on the back foot, playing defensive that we’re now in the locker rooms at half-time having to re-evaluate our game plan because the other team got all the best players.

Why it should infuriate

If the U.S. was sincerely in it to win it, the language used would have been dramatically different—even in its current ineffectual state, the resolution has the potential to humiliate, and if that was the intention, it certainly was achieved.

Neo-colonial scolding, school-marmish Clintonesque foreign policy aside, the language does not promote nor does it propose practical or realistic mechanisms whereby Sri Lanka can foster or achieve a self-determined, sustainable solution.  Also, it’s disingenuous, out of context and completely confusing when out of nowhere comes a nonsense, unnecessary resolution in lieu of broader dialogue and more coherent, strategic foreign policy from the U.S.

The resolution is a four-part take-down 

1. “Taking note of … LLRC … acknowledging its possible contribution to the process of…”

Reads: “… That’s a really cute attempt at reproducing a Boticelli”.  Instead of disparaging attempts at reconciliation, how about acknowledge that an independent commission should work on an extended timeline—not offer up apologies and introspection so fast that we all have whiplash, and second, that it’s working document. Here’s how it could have been improved:

“Understanding that the LLRC report lays groundwork for further investigation and will be vital in developing a blueprint for national integration and reconciliation over agreed timelines.”

2. “Welcoming constructive recommendations… to credibly investigate widespread allegations… [severe, ongoing  human rights violations]”

The people alleging are… Jon Snow? Amnesty International?  M.I.A.?  If you’re going to throw down a litany of misdeeds, be specific—I believe all marriage counselors will concur.  If you’re not going to, then:

“Welcoming constructive recommendations to independently examine national concerns related to integration and social stability in the north of Sri Lanka and recommends that any revised reports LLRC address these specific concerns.”

3. “Noting with concern that the report does not adequately address serious allegations…”

Your Boticelli reproduction actually looks like someone went at the paint jars with their feet.

4. “Requests…  a comprehensive action plan… to address alleged violations of international law… Requests the  Office of the High Commissioner to present a report…”

Reads: “Tell us how you’re going to fix this.  I want it on my desk by Monday.  And we’ll be watching you.”

Should read: “Requests that the GoSL seek any mechanisms and resource within our bilateral agreements, and those of the Office United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rightsat large to develop tangible and effective dispute resolution mechanisms.”

What could happen next:

The nationalist government that wins so big at home is now not held up just to scrutiny (which while irksome, is acceptable), the very fact that key allies like India were left with no choice to vote with such a toothless, pointless resolution, has humiliated the administration which needs economic support from these allies.

1. The India question looms large.  They have too many national interests in our energy resources, potential trade-routes and export economy to be alienated at this juncture.  But their vote will likely set us back diplomatically by a couple of years.  Over the past six months, the administration has continuously laboured to revive our “special relationship”.  Heir apparent Namal Rajapakse was in India just last week currying favour for the vote and while it was largely was cosmetic, it could have been the lipstick on the pig that doesn’t polarize this carefully developed balance with a next-door neighbor.
2. Backfoot. Backfoot. Backfoot.  If you’re not playing offense, you’re playing defense.  And GoSL’s enormous ego will be its ultimate downfall.  I don’t strictly agree with notions of “it’s our problem, stay out of it,”—but I don’t believe that the administration has been left much choice.  Particularly since they’re wondering when the U.S. decided to come to the Sri Lanka party.  Destructive, school-warden diplomacy makes the United States look disengaged and dotty at best, hypocritical at worst and they were told so today
3. Investments withdrawn.  Over the past few weeks, we’ve had a couple of international investments breakdown because they were backed by governments that voted for the US resolution.  That could have meant infrastructure and jobs.  A public shaming of this scale, though non-binding, is not without its impact for more squeamish investors and now GoSL will be forced to put development on the back-burner in favour of repairing its bruised image.

Had the resolution had any real meaning, or if the United States was sincerely interested in developing a relationship, the UN resolution would not have garnered this much attention, it would be a friend telling another friend off, but right now we’ve ended up in marriage counselling without even been taken out for dinner.  We’re also sent scrambling into a pool of private investment goodwill that could quickly dry up.

Women Who Hide With Men

We meet our friend, but almost never his girlfriend. She’s at home, she’s with her friends, she’s too tired. Bollocks.

There’s a new era of kept women, not necessarily (or always) provided for financially, but certainly those who need a man about the house, a scruffy beard to bury a face in at night, even companionship – as much as that feels like being in a hospice. And it’s a private sort of affair – mostly under the covers of darkness, mostly just the two of them.

The men I know who comply with this sort of arrangement, and I am acquainted with a small handful, are good guys. They’re note terribly treacherous but they’re not heading in a particularly great direction either, perhaps making it better that you leave your wagon unhitched.

I’m acutely aware of how that feels like an open wound, so when we saw him a few days ago, we didn’t ask him where she was.

“Surprise, Motherfucker!”

We’ve been watching lots of Dexter at home.  We try physically to restrain ourselves to 3 episodes a day (“Dexter breaks”) it is that good, but let’s just say that rationing is not in our DNA.

Like most folks I love a good murder yarn, but also may or may not admit to reading lots and lots about serial killers – it’s an unhealthy past-time, I know – and yes, I also know I should get help, whatever.  So when I heard about Dexter, a show that ostensibly forces a sympathy for its serial killer protagonist, I was more than a little curious, but when I started watching it, I was blown away.

Unlike that well over-extended police procedural show CSI—with it’s sultry hues set against expensive yachts and big-time drug barons, I love that Dexter is about the working class in Miami—the hotel receptionists, Cuban immigrants making a life for themselves, small-time coke dealers, prostitutes and petty thieves.  The only actual rock stars are the Miami Metro homicide, and they’re not the cleverest either.  We also really don’t miss Horatio Caine’s breathy loaded one-liners and incessant fidgeting with his sunglasses.

Dexter’s characters are also incredibly human—department head Maria LaGuerta—a deserving, fiercely loyal and capable hispanic woman is not beyond sleeping with the fiancé of the woman who replaces her, just to get her old job back.  Angel-faced Rita, victim of abuse and single-mother of two strategically seeks the financial and emotional security of either Dexter or her own mother—uses her kids as bait, and can pretty much charm anyone into babysitting.  Characters grow, learn from their mistakes—actually even reference them seasons down the line.

But no one really comes close to Sergeant James Doakes.  Giules and I  vehemently agree that Doakes’ clipped, baritone whip cracks are the best lines in the show.  So funny in fact, that he has a Facebook page (with a pitiful 330 fans) that I just joined, dozens of youtube compilations of his best badass moments and bit of a cult following.

Doakes is a sharp counterpoint to Dexter, and just like viewers, leaves him agape and wondering how he can be more of a badass.  The result is: I’ve been begging Giules hourly (who does a damned good Doakes voice, go ahead and ask him), to keep repeating “You’re supposed to preserve the crimescene, asshole”, or “You’re connected to this. I don’t know how, but I’m going to find out, and some of what I find is going to stick to your ass.”

The Weekend—a Dose of Dogs

It’s the weekend before my final week at a job I’ve had for six years, more on that at a later date.  If I could tag cloud it, the past couple of days would have gone something like this: puppies, dog show, cricket, puppies, cricket, beer, dog show, puppies, nigel marsh, anna deaveare smith, puppies.

This year is going to be one of dramatic change—everything from my lifestyle, my daily routine, my occupational status, my civil status—it’s all up in the air and while the pieces are being strategically maneuvered into place, I’m taking some time to be with the people that matter, and do things that make me happy.

I’m including some pictures of  Manisha’s puppies, taken by my wonderfully talented Giules.  Manisha’s one of the most important people in my life, and she’s dead cool because she lets me hang out with her puppies all the time, and by the way, a day after these pictures were taken, her Imogen won Best in Show at the 2011 All Breeds Championship Dog Show hosted by the Kennel Association of Sri Lanka.  Best-in-motherfucking-show.

My fianky will have more on the dog show, and the puppies but for now, I mean wow – aren’t they just completely, edibly, amazingly cute?  The internet cannot handle this much softness or furriness.

Graphic: Japan’s Earthquake Economy

A battered economy?

This began with some thoughts on donor fatigue and a little curiousity on how natural disasters impact the global economy, but quickly dissolved into lazy data-monkeyesque poo-slinging.  Japan has been battered relentlessly with nature’s vile rage since humans began recording the weather, but until recently they were the world’s second largest economy.  I plotted quarterly change in Japan’s real GDP with the average magnitude of earthquakes that caused tsunamis in that quarter since 1980 in the vain hope that something might give but, hell, there’s not much statistical relationship.    Highly dependent on auto exports, the volatile Yen and an irascible tech industry, the economy has been surprisingly resilient to tsunamis.  What does seem to be evident is that, though medium-term development dollars may hold steady, the effects of these things are not felt for years down the line.  Kobe cost Japan $100 billion, economic growth held, but the city never returned to its princely state.

Data sources: The National Geophysical Data Center and the Japanese Bureau of Statistics.

Earthquake in Japan

I thought today would be my auspicious return to blogging, but it was not to be. Japan is under water, on fire and in ruins. Much of both sides of the Pacific are in a sickening purgatory of waiting. NHK World is the only source of dispassionate news on Japan and BBC is streaming their content, they keep talking about a “raging  fire” at a gas storage facility that cannot be put out, it makes my head spin. Another report of the roof of an auditorium imploding over a graduation ceremony. Stay safe Japan, and neighbours.